Scared of Time

I'll admit, I am always aware of time and how fast it goes by. I'm scared to not be seen as a "kid" anymore. I'm always aware of my hands looking like an adult's or my face looking less like a baby. I know I am still young, but I deal with anxiety about not enjoying my youth. Especially when life just always feels so monotonous, and I have all these expectations. And I get stuck in the rut of life. I didn't feel young as a teenager. I tried to enjoy it the best I could in the beginning of college, and looking back I see it as it was, I guess I wish I was happier. Hopefully at the end of my life, I won't regret anything. I really hope I won't. I just was trying to be an 18 year old kid looking at life in the eyes of a young person and having a teenage moment listening to Boston wearing my varsity sweatshirt and looking at the big blue sky. I was sad though, and going through something, I just hope I get over it. I don't like life being so real when I create this ideal in my head and get so emotional. I just want to feel safe. But I feel so scared. Help me.

Time goes by too fast. I keep holding onto something that is slipping away. I'm sorry but I can't help it from bothering me. I just care. Other people can't understand me because they don't experience life in the way that I do.